Quotes of the week

Maybe you had to be there, but this is one of the funniest moments of my recent life. Ugyen was deadly serious here. We are discussing the logistics of a long hike the next day.

Ugyen: “You should bring a pack lunch.”

Me: “No problem, we just bought a loaf of bread, we’ll make sandwiches.”

Ugyen (after a pause): “Uh, it should be food.”

***

Middle-aged woman: “My daughter is verrrry ugly. We sent her away.”



(the same person, a different day): “My daughter is sooo fat. Lucky her brain is very fast.”




(Don’t worry, they sent her away to government school because she is so smart. But the exact order of those two thoughts was hilarious. And she also called me fat in the course of the same conversation, so fair is fair.)


***


My homeroom class, as unruly and troublemaking as they are, crack me up every day. This is probably the funniest interaction from the last week.

Me: I’m going to give you all a second chance, because I love all of you.

Male Student: That’s gay, sir.

Me: No, I love you like you were all my own children. It’s not gay to love your son, is it?

Male Student: Michael Jackson, sir.


Aaaand from today, at lunch:

Male student: Sir, I have to go to hospital. I have a boil on my knee.

Me: No. Go back to class.

Student: But sir, it's bothering me.

Me: You can have the health coordinator look at it, but you can't miss class.

Student: Aw, come on, sir.

Me: No.

Student: But my excuse is better than some other ones I've heard.